Your home for intelligent conversation on the web
The Living Room Relationships Going to sleep together?
THINQon is a platform for a more intelligent web. It aims to replace the ruling paradigm of the web – that of sharing and gathering information – with a sharing and achieving of understanding. Instead of the Q&A model it offers an experience. A platform for discovery of ideas, people, and yourself.     Continue >
Going to sleep together?
My best time to work is late at night, but my girlfriend gets upset when I want to stay up and work and not go to bed with her. She thinks falling asleep together is very romantic. But if I go to bed at midnight with her I really miss my best time to write. Not sure how to solve this, ideas welcome. Other than this the relationship is great.
I have the same issue.  I get tons of work done after my BF goes to sleep (he works 7-4 and so he tries to go to bed by 11; my schedule is considerably more flexible).  One compromise that we've come up with involves me laying down with him until he drifts off (about 15-30 min) and then getting back up and doing my work.  The compromise doesn't actually satisfy either of us totally, but it's the best we've come up with so far.  A better idea would be welcome :)

In response to Brian Malone
If you don't live together, you would have a designated time to be together or not, agreed on by both parties.  Then, if you get married, you should be willing to sacrifice your own effectiveness to sleep together at the same time.  

Also, what are you doing all day while he's at work?
We've also been trying the solution Brian mentions but it's harder than it sounds --- it always makes me sleepy, which makes getting back into work quite slow.

Despite not being tremendously romantic (and often being the one to get up) I've been trying to think about what it is psychologically that makes going to sleep together seem like such an elemental pleasure. Maybe it has to do with the relation to time. Drifting off to sleep one has a certain large distance before things begin again, a feeling of being held indefinitely. I remember being younger and feeling that the night contained an almost infinite reservoir of extra hours, and even into adulthood something of this feeling persists. 

I'm not sure how to reorganize life so as to have these qualitatively different kinds of time in other pieces of the day.
Join the Community
Full Name:
Your Email:
New Password:
I Am:
By registering at, you agree to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy.

No results found.